WATER BOTTLES, SHOTGUNS AND AIPORT SECURITY

I’m flying up to Washington to visit my son for a couple days. They stopped me at security because of a bottle of water. I forgot it was in my carryon bag. The early Saturday flight time found DIA a little less crowded than usual so there wasn’t much of a line at security. The security guy pulled the bottle of water out of my bag and looked at me like my name was Osama bin Laden. I told him I was thirsty so he let me drink some of it before he called in the bomb squad. Glad I don’t need my passport for this flight. I could imagine him opening it up and seeing the stamp from Afghanistan.

Good thing I didn’t bring the shotgun.

Remember the shotgun? The Italian semi-auto in the storage room? The one my son asked me to send to him? I haven’t shot it in years and don’t plan on taking up hunting so I had decided to bring it to him this trip because he has a friend who is into sporting clays. The thought of carrying a firearm into the airport in the current climate of fear of terrorism was not one I was particularly looking forward to today. If they unlock their holsters over a bottle of water imagine what they would’ve done if I'd walked in with a shotgun. I’m thinking someone would’ve needed a change of underwear. Probably me.

As it turned out, Brandon had called the airline for me last night to see what the rules for checking a shotgun were and was told one needs a locking, hard-sided gun case. Ours doesn’t lock. So I called a few friends who are hunters and was surprised none of them have locking gun cases. It’s possible the locking case requirement is a new one since Homeland Security has us in “threat condition orange.” (Wonder if I could’ve brought an orange?) Anyway, the lack of a locking case meant I left the gun at home and am sitting here in the concourse waiting to board the flight without any means of protection. If the real Osama suddenly came running toward gate 52A I wouldn’t even have a bottle of water to pour on him.


(To email Brad click on his picture above right and click Email)